Thailand - It's all about guts...

We left Auckland in our delightfully plush business class seats and enjoyed a comfortable 6 hour flight to Perth. The most interesting part of our flight was coming in to land in Perth. We descended over the huge expanse of western brush land and what I first thought was water reflecting the sunset was in fact huge swaths of controlled bush fires. I have never seen so many back-burns before; it was very reminiscent of flying into the Northwest Territories in the summer.

We spent an uneventful evening in Perth and were up before dawn to catch our flight to Phuket. Thai Airways is a decent airline, but no matter how good the service is in economy it cannot compare to business class. Poor Iain was squashed into the tiny seat, his knees almost at his chest. At least the food and entertainment systems were enjoyable!

We arrived in Thailand on a sunny afternoon and cleared customs with no problems or delays. I had arranged for a hotel and taxi pick-up in the hopes of avoiding the chaos that usually reigns at Thai airports. We exited the air conditioned building warding off the hawkers promising us the cheapest taxi's and best hotels and felt the humidity and heat envelop us like a heavy blanket. I staggered up and down the concourse, dripping with sweat after 30 seconds of exposure and finally spotted our driver. He had a limp piece of paper with my name on it held protectively against his flamingo pink shirt. Once we had confirmed each others identity with many gestures and eyebrow waggling I went to grab Iain and the luggage and the driver wadded into the crush of vehicles to get our taxi. We gratefully poured ourselves into the air conditioned cab and sat back for the hour long trip to Karon Beach.

Iain had never been to Thailand and I enjoyed telling him little bits about my previous visits and things we could expect over the next 3 weeks. We were full of plans and ideas of things to do once we had acclimatized.

We wound up at a little guest house in the town of Karon Beach. The guesthouse was associated with a larger resort along the water front but was considerably cheaper with all the same amenities. We had planned on spending 3 days at the guesthouse then moving on to a different beach however we ended up staying in Karon for the full 10 days.

The first 2 days we hung around the hotel room, venturing out to explore the immediate vicinity but never lasting more than 2 hours in the heat and humidity. Iain was unimpressed with the Thai bar girls who kept trying to catch his eye when my back was turned but I found them amusing. I was dismayed by the forceful Indian hawkers in the market stalls and tailor shops, they were much pushier than the Thai sellers I remembered from 2 years previous. It was eye opening for both Iain and I.

On day three we were contacted by a marketing group who told us we had won a free trip to Phi Phi Island! The catch? We had to attend a 90 minute presentation in Patong. The presentation was going to be all about the Absolute Hotel group and their products. Iain knew immediately it was a scam (I'm a little slower to pick up on these things) but a free trip is a free trip and it would give us the excuse to see Patong without having to pay for a taxi to get there. So we booked our 'presentation' for two days later.

On the appointed morning we were picked up by a bubbly woman in an air conditioned cab. Our details were recorded by a Thai woman in the lobby of a beautiful beachfront hotel and we were treated to a buffet breakfast. We were met by our 'host' and our tour began. They ended up taking 4 hours of our day, although the host knew from the moment he met us we were a lost cause. We were shown three hotels, one in the heart of Patong that would have done the Vegas strip justice. The second hotel was near Kamala on a private beach surrounded by jungle and beautiful blue water. The third hotel was the flagship hotel we had started at which was mid range with nicely refurbished rooms and the noble history of having survived the Tsunami. They ended the tour by showing us all the places around the world we could be staying for as little as $149/week! They even have an easy online reservation system. But after 4 hours they didn't even bother to tell us the 'joining fee'. They knew we were only there for the free trip and we knew they were a pyramid scheme based in Thailand because it was cheap to operate and the government didn't ask too many questions.

We booked our free trip for the following morning and left the hotel with the goal of checking out Patong. We had barely gone one block before we were accosted by a middle age British woman pushing scratch cards to win a free trip. When we looked at them it was for the Absolute Hotel group, the woman was quite insistent on us taking one of the cards until we told her we had just come from there. Two blocks after that we had the same encounter except this time it was British man who was totally belligerent. It was very disturbing. We only lasted a half hour in Patong before we got fed up with the bars, the prostitutes and the intrusive hawkers. We headed back to the relative quiet of Karon and a cold pitcher of coconut margarita's.

The next morning we got up early to go to Phi Phi island for the day. We were taken to Rassada Harbour where we caught the giant Phi Phi Cruiser ferry that toured us around Phi Phi Island and transferred us to the snorkeling tour boat. We enjoyed an hour of snorkeling in the harbour where the fish were okay but the coral was the highlight. We saw parrot fish, angel fish, tons of black sea urchins and big lipped clams and the highlight, a family of clown fish living in their anemone home. We were then taken to the beach where we were fed a buffet lunch in the main hotel and afterwards enjoyed 2 hours of free time which we spent shopping. Iain is an excellent barterer! He really enjoyed all the little shops and markets we encountered all over Phuket and Phi Phi.

We sat and dozed in the salty breeze on the ferry deck on the way home. The trip had been worth the four hours we spent in Patong. We arrived back in Karon before sunset and wandered to the waterfront for dinner in a lovely little cafe just off the beach.

The next day was the start of our health troubles. First I came down with a 24 hour bug that made every joint in my body hurt. I was terrified I'd picked up Dengue Fever but the pain improved the next day and by the second night I was feeling almost human again. Iain went the opposite direction, while I was improving he was getting sicker. He didn't start to recover until the day before we moved to Atsumi Healing Retreat where I had planned a 7 day cleanse.

So our three days in Karon became 10 days and our planned adventures were put off until we were both feeling healthy again. It wasn't what we had hoped for when we envisioned a tropical holiday, but neither of us seemed to have anything worse than mild travellers bugs. I considered us lucky.